TLDR; “Drugs” have saved my life. I use Cannabis to control seizures caused by my Temporal lobe epilepsy, and as a mood stabilizer and executive function enhancer for symptoms of my Autism.
When you were young and your heart was an open book …
I grew up using drugs. Alcohol and Cannabis. Alcohol was the drug of choice in my home so that’s what I got used to. Wine, booze, little mini beer cans so I’d have my own little 6 pack with Dad… Yea… Anyway…
I made my rounds with a lot of of drugs. A lot of drugs. I don’t feel like detailing this information at this point but I didn’t want to gloss over my abuses of very toxic chemicals and their impact on my physiology and/or mental health. Eventually I joined AA, learned about being obsessive and compulsive, and what addiction is. This was very helpful to me as I found myself realizing I may not be addicted. But, still… I couldn’t shake the damage drugs and alcohol had done to me and my family.
A long time passed and I found myself entrenched in the “drugs are bad m’kay” camp. Eventually drinking way too much - but still proud to be just saying no now (all wise and educated wasn’t I?). During this time I decide to come clean with myself about my epilepsy. I started to be “out” about being epileptic and working towards accepting and eventually - maybe - getting better. Now, don’t ask why I didn’t think it was a problem but: I was having seizures, drinking, and not taking any seizure meds. So… that was a thing for a bit …
I ended up discovering something nobody had ever found out. Something so earth shattering I had no idea why nobody in the history of mankind had ever told me (I realize text makes this impossible but if you don’t get the sarcasm dripping off this description then you may just want to look elsewhere for interaction): Cannabis can help with seizures and other symptoms of seizure disorders! Yep. It took me far too long to figure out what was behind that door. I have to say that there are only a few things I can say I truly regret. Dismissing drugs of any kind - specificity cannabis - was a huge mistake that I regret and could have cost me my life. I’m not going to link the multitude of articles and scientific publications about this topic. As you will read below, I don’t need to. At this point I realize how behind the curve I am and I hop on the early train to the Florida version of a medical cannabis program. I’m not going to go into detail here about the Florida “Medical” Marijuana “Program” (quotes mine and for good reason) but, I will link my rant when I write it.
I’m going to give you a little background for this next experience now before we move on: The type of epilepsy I have can have some - well - interesting (generally terrifying at worst, worrying at best) symptoms. I regularly had visual and auditory seizures. These seizures became a normal thing I got used to and started to figure out if the shadow figure I saw was a shadow, person, thing or in my mind or if the sound I heard was real or just a sound that wasn’t actually there. Now that we’ve got the groundwork to set the significance of the following event; let’s continue.
Scene: Evening. Living room couch. I’m sitting with my partner who’s helped guide me through this life changing event. I’ve got a Granddaddy Purple distillate cart on a charged battery and I’m ready to give this a shot. I hadn’t used any black or grey market drugs for so long. I was honestly scared.
I hit the GDP cart a couple times. No weed I ever had was that good! Nothing happened. I’m famous in my house for having a high tolerance for some drugs (caffeine doesn’t wake me up, benadryl doesn’t make me sleepy, etc.) so we figure - great, now we’ll be … uh … oh …
There it was. I was laughing my ass off for two reasons:
- I was stoned and it was fantastic. Body and mind relaxed for the first time in years.
- I was scared to death for a single and to me - utterly terrifying - reason: The sounds and sights I’d learned to cope with for so many years were gone.
Yep, gone. Just like that. Gone. I was so scared I cried and told my partner what was going on. We cried together. For the first time in so many years that I still can’t figure it out, I heard nothing. The house was quiet. Outside was quiet. Nobody was whispering or walking just outside my sight. It was still. To this day I only get these symptoms as an aura. A type of pre-seizure warning sign that often I never know about but others can see happening to me.
Currently I’m using high-CDB cannabis for my epilepsy and any number of strains of cannabis for various symptoms and stabilizers.
Here’s some interesting things that have now been attributed to my cannabis use:
- I quit smoking.
- I don’t drink (we get high instead).
- We found out I’m autistic.
- I purchased my first home.
- I moved across the country.
- I started to take my physical and mental health seriously.
I don’t think there has ever been or ever will be a legitimate reason to make any drugs illegal. If we had never stared a bloody and expensive “war” on drugs then we never would have needed most if not all of these deadly substitutes like bath salts. Cannabis (and others) are plants that have existed on earth before we did (I may be over simplifying for poetic license on the timeline intersection of cannabis sativa and modern man but you get the idea). This plant is not hurting anyone or even threatening to hurt anyone. Nobody has ever died from cannabis use. Nobody has ever; in the known history of man; died from cannabis use.
I find it offensive that anyone would take away my right to grow cannabis. A plant that still grows wild in places. A plant that saves my life.
I find it offensive that the reason so many drugs are illegal is because some old white guys hated anyone that wasn’t white.